My Dad

My Dad (and his dog, Dusty).

Today I went to visit my Dad. He had an angiogram on Friday so I went to keep him company while my Mom was at church. He's still recovering and isn't supposed to do much. The scope of his heart showed nothing wrong, so they are still trying to figure out why he is having breathing problems.

The events of my father having to get an angiogram brought a lot of emotions to me. 

I don't want my parents to get older. I don't want them to have health problems. I don't want to see them suffer. 

Thankfully my father is fine, but it just brought up a lot of what-ifs for me.

What if this is the last time you see someone?

-Did you remember to hug them?

-Did you remember to tell them I Love You?

-Did you remember to take a picture?

(I can't take credit for this video, I found it on MindyLew's Captured at 1 Point 8 blog and it had me in tears.)

"Stop this train. I wanna get off and go home again." -John Mayer 

Stop This Train - John Mayer

Blog Business, Awards, Tags...

First of all, some bloggy business. I'm having problems "following back" a lot of my newer followers because under the new google profile I can't find your blog url. So please, if you follow me and I don't follow you, could you leave your blog address in the comments?

Also, if you have a button and I haven't grabbed it yet, please let me know so I can get it. I lost track! Check down at the bottom of my right column.

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Got this package in the mail from Inside Aileigh's Heart for a giveaway I won on her blog! Thank you A!

I can't wait to get Sparkly Boobies like she has!

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Got these "Teen-Ages" from a giveaway I won on Firefly-Shop. Thank you!

They are the coolest thing. You can buy them here. Yes, the markers are to decorate their own bandage.

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I got the following awards from BonBon Rose:

Honest Scrap

Heart Friends Award

Funky Blog

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I got the "new" Kreativ Blogger award from Brandi at Faded Pictures and Misprinted Lies. Thanks!

I got a photo tag from Country Family Robinson! and from Kris at Hands, House and Heart Full! I love photo tags!

Here are the rules:

Here's the rules!
1) Go to your photo files…Select the 6th photo folder
2) Select the 6th photo in that folder
3) Post that photo along with the story behind it.
4) Then challenge 5 blog friends to do the same

*Unfortunately I just deleted all my pics on my harddrive to make space on my computer. So instead I went to my 6th picture on my 6th page of my photobucket account. Here it is:

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I got the super commenter award from Anissa at Our Chaotic Life. Thank you Anissa!

AND I got this award from Kristen at Hands, House and Heart Full.

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I got the new Kreativ Blogger award from Gena. Thanks Gena!

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And I got this Humanity Award from Stephanie at A Pocket Full of Buttons! And from Stacie at SuperMommy to the Rescue!

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Got this tag from Vickie!

What is your current obsession?

Lime Tostitos with dry red wine

What are you wearing today?
Track shirt of my hubby's and super short jean shorts

What’s for dinner? Josh is out of town, so....lime tostitos and dry red wine.

What would you eat for your last meal? Pizza!

What relaxes you the most? Acupuncture

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

See my hubby

Which language do you want to learn? Vietnamese 

What do you love most about where you currently live? Uhhhh.........

What style is your current home decorated in? "Too many animals live here"

If you were a time traveler what era would you live in? "We're gonna party like it's 1999!"

What is your favorite color? Hello?? ORANGE!

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe? Anything orange

What were you doing ten years ago? I was 18 just graduating High School and still dating my asshole of an ex boyfriend.

Describe your personal style? Whatever fits and is orange.

If you had $300 now, what would you spend it on? I really need new running sneakers.

What are you going to do after this? Make a salad.

What are your favorite films? Dancing movies.

Your favorite books? Sophie Kinsella books.

Do you collect anything? I collected bells all through childhood and then I collected angels for awhile.

What makes you follow a blog? I basically just follow back blogs that follow me.

What was the most enjoyable thing you did today? Had breakfast with my Dad.

Ann's Question:What makes you comment on a blog?  I always comment whatever I read.

Amy's Question:What is your favorite thing to do when you have some free time? Blog

Anissa's Question:As you know I homeschool -- If you could would you? Already do?Do you agree with homeschooling? It's something I debate doing once we have kids.

Tonya's question:What is a talent you wished you had? Drawing

Gena's question:As you may know, I am all about "Serene Moments", so what is your "Serene Moment"? Visiting the lake I grew up on.

Noelle's question: If you could go to heaven who would you see, and why? My angel babies.

My question is: Who is your favorite actor?  George Clooney.

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Got the Blog De Ouro award from Dina at 4 Lettre Words!

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I got the Keepsake Blog Award from Living It, Loving It!

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Alright y'all, you know me. I don't pass these along cuz I feel bad excluding people. So instead if you don't have my personal award for all my followers, go ahead and grab it!

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Oh, and Happy (late) Birthday to my bff Jill.

(Jill and I 6/27/09)

(Me singing Happy Birthday and then the baby I nanny for attempting to sing Happy Birthday and then just saying "Cheese" at the camera.)

I Would Gather Children

Some would gather money

Along the path of life

Some would gather roses,

And rest from worldly strife.

But I would gather children

From among the thorns of sin,

I would seek a golden curl,

And a freckled, toothless grin.

For money cannot enter

In that land of endless day,

And roses that are gathered

Soon will wilt along the way.

But oh, the laughing children,

As I cross the sunset sea,

And the gates swing wide to heaven,

I can take them in with me!

~Author Unknown

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Our current children we are looking into adopting:

Stephanie-age 12

Jillisa-age 15

Jesse-6, Kennith-5

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We're gonna need a bigger house....

Vlogemotions

I needed vlogemotions with my hubby gone...I work with children all day so my adult conversation is lacking this week!

I realized this vlog has many things wrong, from my shaky camera hand to my messy living room to the bags under my eyes to the phone ringing in the background to my rambling....as the turkey would say in Blue Hat Green Hat: "Oops!"

For more vlogemotions go to Fort Thompson.

Why I Don't Like To Be Alone/Don't Quit

**I wrote this several days ago but am just posting it now. I am in a better state-of-mind now, but still wanted to share my emotions from the other day. You know me, I'll make ya laugh one minute and cry the next, so I was due for changing up the flavor on here.*

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"Why I Don't Like Being Alone"

Josh is gone until late on the 16th.

I am alone.

I don't like being alone.

I never have.

But being alone now is different from being alone when I was younger.

Being alone now gives me too much time to realize.

To realize,

That I am alone.

I should have kids.

My house should be full.

I should have someone else to care for besides my husband.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. I cherish my husband. But.

But there's always that 'should be'. That 'what if'. That 'how come'. That 'why me'. Leaving me in my alone time to have my thoughts drift into such. 

What am I meant for?

Why didn't I deserve my babies?

When is it my time?

Why must I live each day with this empty feeling in my heart?

When will I feel full?

I miss my husband. 

I miss my babies.

I miss the friends and family that I've lost over the years from my Infertility and pregnancy loss struggles. 

I miss the carefree me that thought life would be carried out as I had planned in my mind. 

I miss the innocence and joy of first being pregnant. 

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"Don't Quit"

Josh and I have decided to give fertility treatments one more chance. We're nearing 7 years since we've been off of birth control. We will most likely go "all the way" in terms of fertility treatments are concerned so that I know I have tried everything possible before I "quit" that realm of being a mommy. At this point we're thinking this will happen this fall. There are many stipulations that need to be met before I will go through more fertility treatment. It really takes a toll on me, so I want everything in order (I know I'm being vague) before we start.

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We are still waiting to hear about any potential children for adoption that we have inquired about. My case worker is on vacation which is driving me nuts that everything is put on hold this week.

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I originally saw this on Holden It Together blog and thought it was beautiful. In my Infertility battle I often want to quit and just give up on my dreams to become a Mommy.

"Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door." -Emily Dickinson

Just Another Yaya Dancing Video

Promised a vlog to one of my biggest-little readers, Lissy-the daughter of GypsyFox. It's so funny to me when I hear that some of you bloggers have kids that enjoy my crazy vlogs! :)

Happy Birthday Lissy! Sorry this is late, I just got my camera back from a friend!

(*dress is from Forever 21)

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And I have to say a big THANK YOU to GypsyFox because she created a new button for me!



<br /><center><a href="http://yayastuff.blogspot.com/"><img src="<a" href="http://yayastuff.blogspot.com/" target="_blank" /><img border="0" alt="http://yayastuff.blogspot.com/" src="http://i323.photobucket.com/albums/nn477/3littlebirds2008/yayaorange.jpg" /></a></center><br />
How cute is that??

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I hope everyone had a fun 4th of July. I had a super busy day working and then visiting family and friends back in my hometown (only 30 minutes away from where I live).

Here's a pic I took at the lake yesterday with my cellphone:

I missed Josh like crazy since it was our anniversary and he is away at school. :(

Here's the flowers he sent me for our anniversary:

*They're kinda dying bc I kinda forgot you are supposed to water flowers...oops...does anyone else think that a dying bouquet of flowers smells just like piss?

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Today I'm just catching up on computer stuff and relaxing!

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"The man who doesn't relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on." -Elbert Hubbard

Silly Saturday

4th of July edition.

I'm bored. Bored.d.d.d. Boreddddd. Bored.

(Thanks ...Love Maegan for teaching me how to make my kick-a$$ DIY belt that I'm sporting today!)

"There's no excuse to be bored. Sad, yes. Angry, yes. Depressed, yes. Crazy, yes. But there's no excuse for boredom, ever." -Viggo Mortensen

Friday Fragments/Focus Friday

*longest post ever*

For more Friday Fragments go to Half Past Kissin' Time.

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Sorry I've been MIA in blogging this week. Josh left early Thursday morning for 2 1/2 weeks. He's going outside of Boston for a program to get his Administration Certificate so he can hopefully be a Principal. But it requires 2 summers of him being gone for 2 1/2 weeks, plus a bunch of practicum work. This is the longest we'll be apart (I know, I'm pathetic). And he'll be gone for our anniversary on the 4th of July. :(

So I was full of anxiety this week with his approaching departure. My dogs even sensed my anxiety and haven't ate their food all week. (They are so good at reading my emotions).

But on the plus side I've made enough friends feel sorry for me that I'm invited to tons of dinners while Josh is gone!

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One more reason I love my husband. He bought a new golf bag and then went out to buy a matching shirt and hat to go with the new golf bag. He seriously has more fashion sense than me.

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Holler! I totally won this kick-a$$ bounce-house giveaway from The Sits Girls! I'm pSyChEd! Now this means I gotta have an adoption coming soon, right?? Thanks T and H!

I won for making this storybook at Fishful Thinking.com

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Speaking of winning...I finally got my necklace I won from the Chick Chat launch! I love it! Thanks girls!!

(click on image to go to lisa leonard designs)

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Adoption Update:

Nothing new. I'm getting tired of waiting. I doubt we'll have any news next week either because our case worker is on vacation.

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Every week I try to teach the 2 year old I nanny for a new catch-phrase. Since her 3rd birthday is on the 4th of July this week we worked on: "Go L, It's your birthday! You're gonna party like it's your birthday!"

(Notice her orange sunglasses on her head! ;)

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TMIFYI (Too Much Information For Your Information): I had my annual hoo-ha appointment this week. You would think with all the cha-cha prodding I get with fertility treatment that I would be exempt from the big annual, but no, no, had to do that too. Yippidy-do-dah. Nothing like a cold metal alligater up your hee-hee to make ya feel like a woman.

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Life Lesson: Unless you have impeccable gay-dar, do not think you can harmlessly flirt with a group of gay men out at the bar because one of those guys might happen to not be gay and then try to totally hit on you and then you have to pull the 'uh I'm married' card.

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Just Wondering: Is being spiritual and religious 2 separate things? Or do you consider them one and the same?

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Just So Ya Know: I am clinically diagnosed with severe OCD (seriously). However, when a kid offers me a nasty, slobbered, dirt covered bite of food as a means of thoughtfully sharing I just can't bring myself to say no so I eat the germ-infested morsel. Why can't I say no to that but I have no problem searching through every spoon in the drawer until I find the cleanest and shiniest one to use?

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Speaking of OCD, I think it's rubbed off on the 4 year old I nanny for. Take for instance, before we could play on the slide it had to be clorox wiped:

He stole hand sanitizer from the grocery store.

And he likes to line-up the toothpastes and toothbrushes in the bathroom:

Oh, and his new "game" of the summer is washing Yaya's car:

Gotta love a mini-me.

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Random Thought Of The Week: Why is kissing the goodbye thing for a date? Who decided it would be the cliche-kiss-goodbye, instead of something else, like perhaps a booby-grab or something? 

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Got my hair cut:

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True Story: I am the youngest child with 2 older brothers. When we were growing up we left this one church for another one and my brothers told me that it was because the church sacrificed squirrels. (I know right? How did they come up with that?) Well me being young and wanting to believe everything my brothers said, decided that they must be telling the truth. So when a family friend, and member of that church, asked me why we left I told her flat-out it was because that church sacrifices squirrels. She tried to tell me I was misinformed, but I knew the truth.

Poor squirrels.

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Last week I focused on getting my hubby ready for school. 

He is all packed and off for 2 1/2 weeks. :(

This week I am going to focus on: Pampering myself. I know, sounds funny, but I haven't done anything for myself in a bit, like a pedicure or something. So this week it's gonna happen!

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PS If you're just hanging at home on Friday night (and blogging) join in at Ann's Virtual Girl's Night Out!

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And of course, like Lee from Perpetual Burn-a current pic of myself at this very moment as I write this post:

"You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win." -Zig Ziglar

Sits Commercial

The Sits Blog is hosting a contest where the winner gets $300 to Target! Whoo hoo! You say Target and I come running! They wanted someone to make a commercial for the blog.

Unfortunately I kept messing up on my sits commercial and finally said screw it, so this is just as good as it gets!

*Guys welcome too!!!!

Hope everyone had a great weekend! I got another lesson in life that I am no longer 21 years old...yeah...went out Saturday night and have now slept all day Sunday. :)

"Grease is the only cure for a hangover." -Cameron Diaz

Friday Fragments/Focus Friday

For more Friday Fragments go to Half Past Kissin' Time.

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Can you believe exactly 10 years ago 6/26 I was graduating from High School?? I can't believe it's been 10 years....

Look, I haven't aged a bit:

 (Pic is of me with a life-long family friend, Kyle, 6/26/99) 

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Adoption Update:

We are currently looking into a 12 year old girl named Stephanie. (I'm not showing y'all a picture cuz you'll want her ;)

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Every week I try to teach the 2 year old I nanny for a new catch-phrase. We've been working on a few:

"My poop smells like roses"

"That's Not My Name" (from the Ting Tings song-she also knows the other words in the song now too. It's adorable.)

And another one we say a lot is "This my JAM!" when a good song comes on. So now for every song she'll ask me "Dis your jam??"

Thats Not My Name - The Ting Tings

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Outsourcing of the Week: What does "TFS" mean? 'Thanks For Stopping'? As in 'thanks for stopping' by my blog'?

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It always makes me smile when my dog sits in the carseats. 

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Just Wondering: Why do I feel the need to say 'excuse me' if I toot while going potty in a public restroom? Is that even necessary? I mean, tooting is a part of pottying....

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Just So Ya Know: If you start a sentence with "No offense but...." you are most likely about to say something offensive.

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Josh and I set up our ichat video messaging for when he'll be away in July for school. So I now have an aim screen name with just one buddy. Don't you feel bad for me? Don't you want to be my aim friend? Hit me up: yayaorangenanny

Then Josh and I spent about a 1/2 hour video messaging even though we were in the same house as each other.  Other people do that too, right?

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Iggy sent me this picture he took this week to make me feel better about our lack-of-adoption process. Thanks Iggy!

 

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Random Thought Of The Week: Gravity. What the?? How is this world spinning around and around and we manage to not fly off the thing?

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Last Friday night Josh and I went to a minor league baseball game with our friends whose son is in Little League baseball. It was "Little League" night. Please tell me why we thought it was a good idea to go to a baseball game on Little League night? Do you even know how much kiddie-chaos was going on around us?
 

It was fun and good to spend time with this little man. But yes, chaos was involved! I forgot there was even a baseball game going on!

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Last week I focused on spending time with my hubby before he leaves for school in July. We did get to spend a lot of time together just relaxing!

This week I am going to focus on: Packing up my hubby for school and getting myself ready for my first official Girls' Weekend vacation. (I think I need a new outfit or two to 'get ready', right?) I'm going to California from the 9th-13th!

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PS If you're just hanging at home on Friday night (and blogging) join in at Ann's Virtual Girl's Night Out!

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And of course, like Lee from Perpetual Burn-a current pic of myself at this very moment as I write this post:

*Why yes I do have a four-finger-forehead. Thanks for noticing. Hence why I normally wear bangs! (Which desperately need to be trimmed...)

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"Chaos is a friend of mine." -Bob Dylan

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